Forget The World of Artisanal Fromage: French Crisps Represent Absolutely Sinful.
Over the holidays, I spent time in the French countryside, an area that appeared displaying impeccable manners. Elegant, shimmering illuminations, village market booths piled high with exquisitely fresh fruit and vegetables, and a vast array of cheeses that could line the whole Eurotunnel with dairy fat. Piled platters of lustrous seafood atop ice beds seen through fogged brasserie windows. As I watched a lengthy yet well-mannered line of well-dressed citizens picking up their artisanal *Bûche de Noël*, I felt a traitorous thought, that my place of origin, York, which becomes a modern reimagining of a tableau of excess at this time of year with mince-pie flavoured vapes and pre-mixed cocktails, would do well to absorb several tips.
The Sophisticated Front
However this entire “art de vivre” stuff is merely an elegant facade – The country succumbs just as easily to its lowest desires like any other place. Just go into a local *supermarché* to witness it. The potato chip section stands as a monument to decadence, crammed with flavours including blue cheese, falafel, Flemish stew and salted butter flavours. Who in their right mind tries chips that taste of butter? It is reminiscent of a product found at those infamous US state fairs where they deep fry sticks of butter. An entertainer has asserted they are the ultimate chip she has ever sampled, however she has undoubtedly fallen victim to a form of local propaganda – after all, her childhood was in that very region.
International Unregulation
It is widely understood the world of potato chip seasoning across the globe operates with as few rules as Silicon Valley. No one will allow the humble spud to shine on its own, adorned only rightly with just a dignified dusting of salt. We have a dark history when it comes to snack tastes in the UK, notably around Christmas. Not long ago, let us not forget, bestowed upon us festive-spiced tortilla chips and limited-edition Beef Wellington Walkers. Let us also recall the occasion when a well-known shop thought “sparkling wine and seasonal fruit” made for a good idea on a potato chip? I had higher hopes from the nation of culinary masters.
What next? Goose liver potato chips? Cream puff crisps? Cigarette-tasting crisps? I should stop, I’m only giving them ideas.
