🔗 Share this article

Basic Toilet Humor

Toilet humor has always been the reliable retreat of your Daily, and we are always mindful to significant toilet tales and historic moments, particularly within football. It was quite amusing to learn that a prominent writer Adrian Chiles owns a West Bromwich Albion-inspired toilet within his residence. Reflect for a moment for the Barnsley fan who interpreted the restroom somewhat too seriously, and needed rescuing from a deserted Oakwell after falling asleep on the loo at half-time during a 2015 defeat versus the Cod Army. “He had no shoes on and had lost his mobile phone and his headwear,” explained a representative from Barnsley fire services. And nobody can overlook during his peak popularity at Manchester City, the controversial forward visited a nearby college to access the restrooms in 2012. “Balotelli parked his Bentley outside, before entering and requesting the location of the toilets, afterward he visited the teachers' lounge,” an undergraduate shared with a Manchester newspaper. “Subsequently he wandered through the school like he owned the place.”

The Restroom Quitting

Tuesday represents 25 years since Kevin Keegan stepped down as the England coach after a brief chat within a restroom stall together with Football Association official David Davies in the underground areas of Wembley, subsequent to the memorable 1-0 setback against Germany in 2000 – England’s final match at the famous old stadium. According to Davies' personal account, FA Confidential, he stepped into the wet struggling national team changing area right after the game, only to find David Beckham in tears and Tony Adams energized, both of them pleading for the director to convince Keegan. Following Dietmar Hamann’s free-kick, Keegan moved wearily along the passageway with a blank expression, and Davies located him seated – reminiscent of his 1996 Liverpool behavior – within the changing area's edge, muttering: “I'm leaving. This isn't for me.” Stopping Keegan, Davies worked frantically to save the circumstance.

“Where on earth could we find for a private conversation?” recalled Davies. “The tunnel? Crawling with television reporters. The changing area? Crowded with emotional footballers. The bath area? I couldn’t hold a vital conversation with the team manager as squad members entered the baths. Just a single choice remained. The toilet cubicles. A significant event in English football's extensive history happened in the old toilets of an arena marked for removal. The approaching dismantling was nearly palpable. Leading Kevin into a compartment, I closed the door after us. We stayed there, eye to eye. ‘My decision is final,’ Kevin declared. ‘I'm leaving. I'm not capable. I’m going out to the press to tell them I’m not up to it. I can’t motivate the players. I can't extract the additional effort from these athletes that's required.’”

The Consequences

Consequently, Keegan quit, later admitting that he had found his tenure as national coach “soulless”. The double Ballon d'Or recipient continued: “I struggled to occupy my time. I began working with the visually impaired team, the hearing-impaired team, supporting the female team. It's a tremendously tough role.” English football has come a long way during the last 25 years. Whether for good or bad, those stadium lavatories and those iconic towers are no longer present, while a German now sits in the coaching zone Keegan formerly inhabited. Thomas Tuchel’s side are among the favourites for the upcoming Geopolitics World Cup: Three Lions supporters, appreciate this period. This exact remembrance from a low point in English football acts as a memory that circumstances weren't consistently this positive.

Current Reports

Tune in with Luke McLaughlin at 8pm British Summer Time for Women's major tournament coverage regarding Arsenal versus Lyon.

Today's Statement

“We remained in an extended queue, wearing only our undergarments. We represented Europe's top officials, top sportspeople, examples, grown-ups, parents, determined individuals with high morals … yet nobody spoke. We hardly glanced at one another, our gazes flickered a bit nervously when we were requested to advance in couples. There Collina observed us from top to bottom with an ice-cold gaze. Mute and attentive” – former international referee Jonas Eriksson shares the degrading procedures officials were once put through by previous European football refereeing head Pierluigi Collina.

Daily Football Correspondence

“How important is a name? There’s a poem by Dr Seuss named ‘Too Many Daves’. Has Blackpool experienced Excessive Steves? Steve Bruce, along with aides Steve Agnew and Steve Clemence have been shown through the door marked ‘Do One’. So is that the end of the club’s Steve obsession? Not quite! Steve Banks and Steve Dobbie remain to manage the main squad. Total Steve progression!” – John Myles

“Now that you've relaxed spending restrictions and provided some branded items, I have decided to put finger to keypad and share a brief observation. Postecoglou mentions he initiated altercations on the school grounds with children he anticipated would defeat him. This self-punishing inclination must explain his option to move to Nottingham Forest. Being a longtime Tottenham fan I will always be grateful for the second-season trophy however the sole second-year prize I envision him securing by the Trent, if he lasts that long, is the Championship and that would be some struggle {under the present owner” – Stewart McGuinness.|